The Granny Test

I don't know what it is about people. Maybe it's natural curiosity, maybe it's the Jerry Springer effect. But for some strange reason (perhaps because transsexuals are relatively rare), people seem to think it's perfectly OK to ask totally inappropriate questions of any transsexual they happen to meet.

In an attempt to remind them of their manners, I like to challenge such questions by asking the questioner to consider what I call 'The Granny Test': basically, if you want to know whether your question is appropriate, just think about whether you'd ask that question of some random elderly lady you bumped into in a supermarket. If it's OK to pose your question to Granny, then it's OK to pose it to any stranger, including me. If Granny would take offense, there's a good chance that any stranger would take offense too. Simples, eh?

Here are some examples of questions that pass The Granny Test:

"Excuse me dear… sorry to trouble you, but I was wondering whether you had the time?"

"Pardon me, but do you know when the next bus is due?"

"Do you know where I might find the Marmite in this shop?"

Do you see what I mean? Those questions are completely inoffensive and Granny will probably be only too happy to answer you. So it's unlikely that anyone will take offense at being asked them. Feel free to ask me those questions any time you like.

And here are some questions that would fail The Granny Test so badly that she'd probably whack you about the head with her handbag for asking them:

"Excuse me dear, but I'm very curious… just how exactly do you have sex?"

"I was wondering… do you actually have a vagina?"

"I know you've asked me to call you Mrs. Smith, but tell me... what is your real name?"

See the difference? Those questions are impertinent, overly familiar and none of your damn business. If Granny wouldn't like to answer those questions, who on Earth would? Why should someone who happens to be transsexual be happy to answer them?

Please consider this if you ever meet someone who reveals to you that they're transsexual. After all, transsexuals are just ordinary, everyday people who deserve as much consideration as the next ordinary, everyday person. Otherwise, you might find yourself getting whacked about the head with somebody's hand/man bag.