George

In High School, I insisted on being called 'George'. Much to the ridicule of my classmates.

I've always absolutely hated my birthname. It's old-fashioned and inescapably feminine, and so are all of the options for shortening it. And my middle name is no help either. So I've never been comfortable with people referring to me by name; it jars me every time I hear it. Even my husband calls me 'love' or 'darling' or similar, never my name. I can just about cope with my kids calling me 'Mum', but I'm uncomfortable with being called a 'mother' because that's a distinctly female title with all sorts of social connotations and it just doesn't sit right with me. I prefer 'parent'. How PC am I? ;-)

So throughout my childhood, any time I'd introduce myself to a new boy in the neighbourhood, I'd tell them I was a boy and I'd give them a boy's name to call me by. Usually it'd be the name of a current TV or movie character, because when I was on my own I would fantasise that I was that character so that I could imagine interacting with my friends as a man. I did this to a very small extent in primary school, but when puberty hit and I started High School I used to do it much more frequently. Why? Because I have a very feminine body, and as soon as that manifested itself people started dealing with me as if I were female, which has been a nightmare for me for around three decades now. If my everyday interactions with other people left me in such discomfort, the only way I could have a break from the way other people made me feel was to escape into a fantasy world in which I was male. And powerful. And handsome. And popular. And later, virile. ;-)

So when I was in High School I used to tell my classmates that I preferred being called 'George', and that I wanted them to use male pronouns with me. A couple of them did do so, bless their hearts, but most of my classmates just ignored me as a weirdo. Of course, that was back in the mid-1980s when very few people had even heard of trans* people, so I don't think many of them had a clue what was going on with me. And I sure as hell didn't know what was going on with me either. I just knew that I hated being treated like a girl and I felt more comfortable being treated like a boy. Who knew there was a word or a diagnosis for that?