Coming out at the gym

So on Friday I bit the bullet and decided to come out to the managers of both gyms I attend, as well as my Personal Trainer. I haven't been going to the gym since my last post on the subject as I've been struggling with the dysphoria that was triggered by that post I'd read… but I decided that I need support if I'm to regain my comfort in the gym.

The first gym started out very well. The manager is a lesbian and she was very supportive, friendly and sympathetic. She agreed to look into options to make me feel more comfortable in the gym, particularly in the changing areas an on the treadmills - all of which are in front of mirrors. So that went well.

My personal trainer? Not quite so good, actually. I've been working with  him for a couple of years now so he knows me quite well, but he kept saying things like "I never would've guessed" and "But you really do look like a woman!" (yeah, thanks for that - how do you think I feel about having that little fact pointed out to me, arsehole?). He then told me quite proudly that he'd once met a 'tranny' who 'even though he was really a guy, looked quite attractive' and he seemed to think this story showed just how enlightened and tolerant he is if even he had fancied that 'tranny'. Ugh.

Well, he gets ONE opportunity to talk trash like that whilst adjusting to the surprise of meeting his first transgender client. But I expect (nay, demand) that all my future dealings with him must be far more respectful and must not include words like 'tranny'.

So I had mixed feelings about that particular 'outing'. The good work done by the manager was kind-of negated by my personal trainer. Unfortunately the only other personal trainer in the place is a woman and I've seen how she operates - it's all about femininity with her and I'd be even more uncomfortable working with her under those circumstances.

My second 'outing' session was at my other gym, which is closer to where I live. I phoned the manager and organised an evening appointment with him… and when I arrived I was delighted to see that he turned out to be the campest gay guy you could hope to meet. Well, this is promising, I thought - there's a good chance that he'll be sympathetic to LGBT issues. And sure enough he was.

I had a lovely long chat with him in which he promised me all the support the club could offer. I'm very uncomfortable with using their ladies' changing rooms (and I don't pass well enough to use the men's yet) so he's offered me the use of the single-stall disabled changing room. It's not ideal, but it's the best that we can come up with within the confines of this club and its facilities.

He also got his senior management involved as they're always on the floor when he's away so I have three people making sure my gym experience is as comfortable as it can be. However, the (gay) manager did also say: "But you look very female". URGH!!! Twice in one day. :'-(

Goddamn it. I can't wait to start on hormones.