Since my last post, I've been struggling to keep on top of everyday life. It's been a bit of a rough ride.
After seeing my Community Mental Health Team (who once again declared me sane: how many people can say that?) I was referred to a large Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) to commence the next stage of my treatment. NHS Guidelines state that I should see them within 18 weeks of referral, so I sat back & waited for my appointment letter to come through.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
After the 18th week had passed and I still hadn't heard from the GIC, I decided to call them up to make sure they'd received my referral and that it was progressing nicely. They confirmed that they had received the referral (five days after I'd seen the Community Psychiatrist), but that they hadn't processed it yet because they have a backlog of cases due to a shortage of admin staff. OK, fine, they have it and they'll get around to it. So I waited some more.
And waited… you get the picture.
Two months later, I still hadn't heard anything back from them so I called them again. This time, a very stressed-out staff member admitted that they hadn't processed it, they had no plans to process it in the immediate future, and they couldn't say when they would get round to processing it. It might not even be this year.
She admitted that this particular clinic has been inundated with new applications because there was a wave of transsexual documentaries on British TV last year (such as My Transsexual Summer), which led to more people plucking up the courage to approach their doctors & start transition. I was unfortunately caught up in that wave and they just couldn't cope with the enormous workload that resulted from it. (I have since befriended an existing patient at that clinic, and she says their treatment is so slow, particularly over the past year, that she's been with them for four years so far and she still isn't on HRT).
I was distraught. There's a good reason why we're supposed to be seen within 18 weeks: transsexuals are over 30% more likely than the general public to attempt suicide, because living with a body/mind mismatch is utterly unbearable in ways that cisgendered people cannot even imagine. I'd been sitting there patiently waiting to be seen, even though I wanted & needed to be seen yesterday - because let me tell you, by the time a transsexual has finally plucked up the courage to approach their doctor and start their transition, they've reached a point of no return in their lives. In many cases, we spend many years fighting against our innermost feelings, trying to deny our identity just so that we can 'fit in', but then something happens that makes us realise that we cannot continue living the way we are so we finally approach a doctor. After years of torment. So being made to wait even longer is inhuman.
I remembered from my appointment with the Community Psychiatrist that there are two GICs in my catchment area. I'd asked him at the time what the waiting times were at each, and he'd said they were pretty much the same. So I'd gone for the big GIC because it's famous and has all the resources on its doorstep, whereas the other one is a bit out of my way. But now that I'd learned I probably wouldn't be seen at the GIC this year I needed to rethink my options. So I thought it might be worthwhile calling that other Clinic & seeing what their waiting times are like.
I asked the friendly, relaxed lady on the other end of the phone how long their patients generally have to wait before seeing the Community Psychiatrist and getting their first appointment at their GIC. She told me that the wait is generally one month. I burst into tears: I'd already been waiting seven months for the other clinic and no appointment was on the horizon; could I have seen these people around six months ago if only I'd chosen them?
She heard me start to cry, and said "Oh, no darling, please don't cry… if you're really desperate, we can see you within two weeks!"
Oh hell. Which, of course, made me feel even worse, in a way. So I told her I'd already been waiting seven months for the other clinic but they haven't processed my referral due to an admin shortage; what would I need to do to change my referral to their clinic? She told me the steps to go through, I thanked her… and immediately started taking those steps.
After much letter-writing, phone-calling and diligence on my part, two weeks later I received an appointment at that clinic for the following month. I have now seen them and am officially on my way towards full transition: they hope to have me on HRT sometime this summer if all goes well.
I cancelled my referral to the original GIC and have made a formal complaint to their governing body because they didn't even try to stick to NHS Guidelines of 18 weeks. Transitioning is extremely hard… does it have to be made even harder because certain parts of the NHS can't get their act together?
